Turning Enemies Into Friends in Israel and the Palestinian Territories

Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch

In early Jan. 15 senior rabbis, ministers and imams traveled together to Israel and the Palestinian territories. We are from among New York City's leading religious institutions. Collectively, our houses of worship are home to tens of thousands of prominent New Yorkers.

Anyone who appreciates the hectic schedules and unique demands upon congregational clergy realizes that it is no small matter to bring 15 spiritual leaders together for five days. So why did we leave our congregations for a week? Why did our congregants insist that we go and even pay for our mission?

In the post 9/11 world, religious rapprochement is no longer a luxury; it is a necessity. To ignore dialogue is to invite destruction. If we do not find ways to live together in dignity we will die together in agony. Religious moderates must build new bridges of coexistence or religious extremists will burn the last bridges of peace.

Our presence in the Middle East was intended to broadcast that we can live together, work together, travel together, dream together and build together. In a world awash in religious conflict, we wish to model a different way: the way of coexistence, respect and peace.

It was a tough trip. We did not paper over our differences. We visited the heart of the conflict. There were moments of despair. We met with presidents, prime ministers, members of parliament and mayors on both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian divide. We met with priests, imams and rabbis. We met with journalists, academics, students, villagers and farmers.

Daily headlines do not begin to tell the story. None of the people we met -- not one -- believed that the Middle East is closer to peace today than ten years ago. If this is the truth, we need to hear it. Progress rests upon the solid rock of reality, not the shifting sands of fantasy.

Despite it all, many of us returned to New York guardedly optimistic. None of the people we met -- not one -- felt that the status quo was sustainable. Everyone understood that a way must be found to break out of the suffocating reality. There is broad agreement that the present is not working and that a new future must be forged.

People of faith have a unique role to play. Both Israeli President Shimon Peres and Palestinian Prime Minister Salam Fayyad urged us to engage. Both of them emphasized that religion could be a source of enormous support as the politicians seek a political solution. We can help to create a context that is conducive to peace.

Religion specializes in hope. We are good at articulating our common humanity and giving voice to the better angels of our nature. We were also cautioned that if we do not step up the forces of religious intolerance will continue to drag the rest of us towards war. Our era has placed a sacred obligation on the forces and figures of religious moderation to speak out and act out.

There are many good people working to build bridges. In Haifa we met Christians, Muslims and Jews who have built a true house of coexistence. In Tel Aviv we met doctors, nurses and hospital staff who treated illness without regard to race, religion or creed. Even on the Gaza border, in Israeli towns that were fired upon in a barrage of missiles, there were people who were reaching out to the other side.

Peace is made piece by piece, from the bottom up. Progress is advanced day by day, person by person, each laboring in their own corner of the universe, connecting with others who together create an irresistible force. We should connect with those people and strengthen their hand. This daily labor is heroic work.

Jewish sages ask: Who is a hero? They respond: He who turns an enemy into a friend.

This is our task: person by person to help turn enemies into friends.

Rabbi Ammiel Hirsch is Senior Rabbi, Stephen Wise Free Synagogue.  This article was first posted on the Huffington Post website. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rabbi-ammiel-hirsch/turning-enemies-into-frie_b_1224995.html?ref=religion

Forgiveness Brings Peace

Forgiveness Brings Peace

by David C. James, Ph.D.

“Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is it healed. ... This is the ancient and eternal law.’
– The Dhammapada

Forgiveness is a universal theme in both the spiritual and religious life. Every spiritual tradition recognizes the necessity to let go of past suffering and betrayal, and find a way to release the burden of pain and hate that we carry.

Theistic religions point to a practice of forgiveness that is rooted in relationship with God as well as our fellow travelers on the human path. Non-theistic religions recognize that the gift and process of forgiveness as an essential part of the journey toward awakening and enlightenment.

In a very practical way forgiveness is, as one author put it, giving up the hope of ever having a better past. Forgiveness allows us to be at peace right now, no matter what drama, crisis, trauma has happened in the past. It is simply the creation of peace in the present.

Studies by Stanford University and the University of Tennessee show that when we don’t forgive we may experience a strain upon our nervous and immune systems, elevations in our blood pressure and heart rates, and a host of other health-related problems.

Unforgiveness is a factor in all human conflict, whether in family or world relations. In our lifetime, the conflicts of Northern Ireland, the genocide in Rwanda, the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, street gang violence and class warfare in our own country all point to the consequences of unforgiveness, of hanging on to past wrongs.

So if forgiveness is so crucial to the release of suffering, good physical and mental health and harmony with ourselves and others, why do we not practice it more?

Sometimes it is because we confuse forgiving with forgetting. Our brains are wired to perform some incredible tasks, but forgetting past trauma and abuse doesn’t seem to be one of them. The practice of forgiveness is a letting go of the emotional energy of past hurts and finding peace in our hearts in the here and now. In other words, sometimes we forgive for ourselves and no one else! After all, the one who hurt us may be dead and we are still carrying them around in our heart.

Sometimes we can’t forgive because we have too much emotional energy invested in being a victim of someone else’s bad behavior. To be free of the past though, we must find a way to transcend it and this may very well mean grieving the past and finding a way to rest in a present state of well-being.

These are but two of the many reasons we feel that we can’t forgive. Regardless of why we haven’t yet forgiven, the good news is that there are ways to step into this freedom now. Whether through work with a spiritual companion or a therapist, there a is way we can release the hold of the past and find peace and happiness now. I hope you begin this journey today.

David C. James, Ph.D., is an author, spiritual companion and the Animator of the Olympia Forgiveness Project.
Read more here: http://www.theolympian.com/2012/01/07/v-print/1939062/foregiveness-can-bring-peace.html#storylink=cpy

Merry Christmas!

In a particular way the birth of Jesus in the Christian Tradition begins a cycle of a life lived with forgiveness as a primary optic.  In the Gospel Canticle of Morning Prayers the author anticipates the purpose of Jesus' life, "In the tender compassion of our God the dawn from on high shall break upon us, to shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace."  Peace comes, as we are discovering more fully nowadays, when forgiveness is realized in our hearts and in our world.

May Christmas be a time of celebration for you and your family.  And even if you are not Christian, may these days of holiday celebration be ones where you discover afresh the gift of Forgiveness.

Holy Spirit by Hildegard of Bingen

In this Holiday Season I offer this poem of Hildegard's as a way to find the grace to forgive.


Holy Spirit,
Giving life to all life,
Moving all creatures,
Root of all things,
Washing them clean,
Wiping out their mistakes,
Healing their wounds,
You are our true life,
Luminous, wonderful,
Awakening the heart
From its ancient sleep

Translated by Stephen Mitchell

Kindness as an Aid to Forgiveness: A Poem by Naomi Shihab Nye

Kindness Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you held in your hand, what you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness. How you ride and ride thinking the bus will never stop, the passengers eating maize and chicken will stare out the window forever. Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness, you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho lies dead by the side of the road. You must see how this could be you, how he too was someone who journeyed through the night with plans and the simple breath that kept him alive. Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside, you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.  You must wake up with sorrow. You must speak to it till your voice catches the thread of all sorrows and you see the size of the cloth. Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore, only kindness that ties your shoes and sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread, only kindness that raises its head from the crowd of the world to say it is I you have been looking for, and then goes with you every where like a shadow or a friend.

Naomi Shihab Nye- The Words under the words: selected poems.

Forgiveness and the Freedom of Letting Go

9 Steps to Forgivness from the Stanford Forgiveness Project

Dr. Fred Luskin of the Standford Forgiveness Project has worked with thousands of people who have learned how to forgive.  Here is the program of forgiveness as articulated through 9 steps.  You can see the complete re-framing of your mindset that is asked of you.  Please use this to your good health!

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3.  Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the “peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story.”

4.  Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes – or ten years – ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5.  At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body’s flight or fight response.

6.  Give up expecting things from other people, or your life, that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the “unenforceable rules” you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.

7.  Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.

8.  Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9.  Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.

The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope, peace, compassion and self confidence. Practicing forgiveness leads to healthy relationships as well as physical health. It also influences our attitude which opens the heart to kindness, beauty, and love.